Identity

psvolha
5 min readJul 5, 2021

Running a startup is a challenging affair. It is often sold as this shiny experience full of flexibility, freedom from 9–5 and changing the world. These, of course, are not untrue. But these are not 100% realistic either.

In reality, i don’t know many startup founders who take a vacation every time they want. Freedom from 9–5 actually means you are working 24/7. And changing the world... Well this may or may not happen, it’s all up to your startup journey and how much impact you are aiming for.

Unlimited work hours and challenged work-life balance are things most people think about before starting up. This is a rather common trade-off one makes when getting involved in something new. And it's a common source of burnout (yaks). There is one more thing I wish people talked about more — identity crisis.

The first thing that turns an idea into a company is identity. This is when you name it, sketch it, give it a tone of voice and start talking about it. A startup doesn’t have an identity by itself, it inherits it from the founders.

For founders, their startup is pretty much the only thing they think about. Very soon (if not immediately) startup becomes the founder’s identity. All of a sudden you become Jim from ‘Coolio’ or Katie from ‘Amaze.Me’. The startup becomes this one thing, a tagline that describes you. Have you noticed, how people are being introduced? People with ‘normal’ jobs are often referred to by their job title or main personality trait or hobby. Founders are introduced by their company name, even when it is seemingly irrelevant (like at a bbq party).

image source: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nature.com%2Farticles%2Fd41586-019-03014-4&psig=AOvVaw0fKJBn9ZAHZRhxlmveS1PS&ust=1625558371595000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAoQjRxqFwoTCIjY34m7y_ECFQAAAAAdAAAAABAK

And that’s great! If people associate your company with you and they like you, they will probably like your company as well.

On the other hand, this association puts a lot of responsibility on you. Since you and your startup share identity, you also share interests, free time (if there is such a thing) and social circles. That’s a lot of pressure.

I’ve definitely experienced burnout or two because of it. Since you and a startup become one, every minute of every day is dedicated to the startup. And if that’s not the case, you feel guilt. Weekends turn into a confusing experience: you know it’s your time off, time to relax, time to give yourself a break. But it feels like you are wasting your time since you are doing something unrelated to growing your startup. Dates, family days, quality time with your partner, birthdays, friends housewarming parties, you name it. Anytime you spend more than an hour away from a laptop screen makes you feel guilty and worthless. ‘Guilty pleasures’ take a new meaning.

There was a time when I would take my laptop literally everywhere I go. I had it with me on dates, weddings and parties. Sometimes, I would even schedule work calls, so that I feel like I’m working even when it’s time to relax. There is another aspect to such behaviour: social pressure and showing other people how dedicated you are. This deserves a conversation of its own.

The same goes for hobbies and, even, social causes you care about. When you run a startup and there is so much to stay on top of, it often doesn't feel right to spend 15 mins knitting (insert any other hobby here) or reading about global warming (if you care about it).

It doesn’t happen overnight, this superficial pressure builds up slowly. It’s not real though. And you know it. But you still feel it.

A few years ago I had a heated discussion about personal branding and how relevant is it to a startup founder. My position was: my startup is my identity, so why would I brand myself as anything else? Personal branding in startup used to sound like an oxymoron to me. My startup IS my branding. When you start a company, you invest more than time and money. You invest your identity. I thought my only goal from a personal branding perspective would be to make me look like an expert in my startup’s niche. This way my growing startup contributes to my expertise, and my expertise contributes to the growth of the startup. Everyone wins.

It still sounds right to me, although my opinion on personal branding changed. Several startups and years of entrepreneurship teach you a thing or two. Personal branding is the essence of your identity and a summary of your transferrable skills. Your startup is part of your life, but not all of it. It is part of your identity, but not all of it either. The startup won’t last forever, at some point you may start another company or find a job or change your industry. There is an infinite number of opportunities. And your identity is one thing that you will take with you no matter where you go.

Personal branding sounds very public-facing. And identity is something really internal. Both are closely interconnected though. And both are fluid, it’s ok to shift and change over time. A big chunk of your personal branding will end up being about your startup. That’s how you get clients, investment and a team. It can be smart, however, to think wider and deeper. What you put out there doesn’t have to be all about your company or, even, your industry. Include your interests and personality. This way, you get 2 positive side effects (there are more, but let’s focus on 2):

  • You reduce this superficial internal pressure. Regularly talking about and seeing stuff outside of your startup interests reminds you of the world on the outside. You get that breath of fresh air and a minute for your brain to rest.
  • You get to hear ideas & opinions and interact with unfamiliar ways of thinking. This makes it natural to think outside of the box and helps you come up with solutions. We are all dealing with similar challenges in different industries and in different ways.

When you start a company, personal branding and identity is probably not your top priority. But it definitely should be on the list. Your identity drives your startup success. So pay attention to it. Understand who you are, what you are good at, what drives you, why are you doing what you doing and what you want in life. Do this before you get on that startup rollercoaster and allow yourself to check in on it during the ride. This stuff is not from pop books about personal development. It is supposed to give you actionable insight into what sort of people you need on your team, what are your goals and how to best achieve them.

Your investors and clients will tell you they want to see 200% dedication from you. This doesn’t equal to merged identities. You are still a human being, even if you started this amazing company.

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psvolha

Serial tech entrepreneur sharing the rollercoaster of running a startup